The Truth About "Fit Teas"

March 28, 2016


*puts on bullet proof vest, jumps into armored vehicle, uses the megaphone to tell you all…*


Soon as the weather broke, so did my Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. It went from seeing pictures of my friends, trainers, and classy ladies that worked the night shift at lust to a cesspool of propaganda, and liars (might be the devil).


One thing I’ve realized while being a leader in the fitness industry is that selling hope is as American as Apple pie. Cashing in on the millions of men and women with body insecurities is now a 42 billion dollar scheme. So, just in time, right before the temperature rises to a consistent 85 degrees and the 

bikini bodies are all out on displayed in every Instagram post . The re-emergence of Fit Teas and detox teas are now at an all-time high.


All showing amazing weight loss transformation photos and (corporate) testimonials about the success of their product.Some of them promote “100% natural” ingredients, “formulated by experts”, and the best one is : 


“literally drink away your body fat”.


Now, I would be lying if I said I didn’t get the appeal of this ” miracle drug”. We live in a microwave society were we don’t cherish the process as much as we do the product ( I blame Dr. Miami) so when something like this comes along and flashes all the things you want out of your fitness life in a magical tea bag… Why wouldn’t you jump on it ? 


Simple, Because your reading this blog post. Here’s the lowdown on why detox teas aren’t all they’re cracked up to be:


They are diuretics
Most detox teas combine caffeine and diuretics. What that simply mean is, you’ll flush out a lot of water weight but it will have zero to little impact on your actually body fat. When taken in strong enough doses they can start removing fluid from organs too. Given that our bodies are roughly 60-70% water there’s a lot of potential for fluid loss, so the scales will show you that you’re lighter and you’re a ” new you” but since You’re also likely to find yourself suffering nausea, headaches, dizziness and lack of concentration due to dehydration. It’s a good chance you end up stopping, go back to a normal eating routine, and gain some of that weight back. 

Prepare to spend a lot of your time like this..


They are laxatives
We are so hungry for results, we don’t care what we put into our body; irony. Now, If you look at the list of ingredients you’ll notice most detox teas contain senna – a natural laxative. This means that your body will expel whatever is in your bowel; water, faeces and natural bacteria. The intestinal tract contains approximately 2-3kg of good bacteria lining the bowel and anywhere between 2-10kg of fecal matter at any time, which is why “genuine” testimonials talk about noticing a decrease in bloating – their abdomen is actually flatter because their intestines are now basically completely empty….However removing the beneficial and protective bacteria compromises your ability to digest and absorb nutrients and eliminate food-borne pathogens, and unfortunately this can take months to replenish itself. So in short, want a flat stomach, let’s take out your entire stomach. 


You have to exercise and eat right for it to work 


The tea companies recommend you do a teatox while following a healthy, nutritious diet. 


* blank stare * 


Soooo, if they diet and exercise… AND TAKE THE TEA!!!!!!! They can lose weight ?


Ohhhh! It’s the tea!! All of life problems! Can be solved with this tea!! You apparently need all three to lose weight according to them. 


* blank stare *


Because, if they just diet and exercise they can still lose Wei… Never-mind 


Your body already has a detoxification system; It’s called your liver, and it does an amazing job of filtering and removing toxins without any herbal help. And while some of the teas may contain compounds shown to stimulate the liver, it would do its job just as well without the tea by simply no longer putting a major strain on the liver by the using – alcohol, illicit drugs, cigarettes, medications and excessive sodium.


What have we learned today? 


Instagram is a liar. You know what to do if you want to lose weight and get in shape, stop settling for 15 seconds of (already) fit chicks telling you to use a product they were paid to endorse and never used. 

* heads back to the explore page… God bless lust entertainment club* 



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